Category: Humour

What I Learned Last Week

Homer Simpson
Homer Simpson (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I love learning stuff.  I didn’t learn much last week, except these nuggets.

Apparently Homer Simpson is the first Earthling on Mars.  He dropped a jelly doughnut in front of a rover.

Tim Horton’s on Mars?

Canada’s most embarrassing export  goes for the “Lindsay Lohan Award”. Nice job Biebs, don’t call home.

Why the f–k are you doing this?

Vegas is going to make a lot of money.  The football picking camel passed on.

Camel rolls snake eyes

28 Days is becoming a real possibility for England.

Invasion of the cannibal rats

Perhaps fining people for taking children on airplanes is the next logical step?

End the madness!!

 

 

 

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Huge Bear Problem

English: A three-shot panorama of E. C. Mannin...
English: A three-shot panorama of E. C. Manning Provincial Park, part of the Cascade Range. I took the pictures with an Olympus FE-310 and edited with GIMP. The focal length of the camera was 6.2mm (31mm film equivalent). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Pretty scary stuff.  Bear shows up during a commercial shoot at Manning Park in BC.

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What I Learned Last Week

Let’s see, what struck me this week.  Struck me and will, perhaps, stick with me.

 

Ian Fleming's image of James Bond; commissione...
Ian Fleming’s image of James Bond; commissioned to aid the Daily Express comic strip artists. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

1. It is freaking cold in Antarctica.  Like minus 135.8 degrees (F) cold.  Story here

 

2. James Bond drinks enough to be an alcoholic.  Some doctors, with way to much time on their hands, read all the Bond novels and measured his alcohol intake.  Story here

 

3. Winter driving is dangerous

 

 

What I Learned Last Week

news of the weird
news of the weird (Photo credit: massdistraction)

 

A great week for learning stuff.

 

1. A children’s TV show in Sweden has characters dressed as “poo-poo” and “wee-wee”. (Biss ock Kajs)

 

 

2. The pope used to work as a bouncer.

 

3. The hardest tongue twister is “pad kid poured curd pulled cold”.  Read about it here

 

.All in all, a successful week.

 

Friday Funny – From The Email Bag

Got a chuckle from this one.  Thanks Barry.

A nice story – the elderly are beautiful.

 When we get older we think differently, don’t we? This letter was sent to the Principal’s office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly.  An elderly woman received a new radio at the lunch as a door prize and was writing to say thank you. This story is a credit to all humankind.

 

Dear Kean Elementary:

 

God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens luncheon.  I am 84 years old and live at the Sprenger Home for the Aged. All of my family have passed away.. I am all alone now and it’s nice to know that  someone is thinking of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady. My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio, but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping.

 

The other day her radio fell off the night stand and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. Her distress over the broken radio touched me and I knew this was God’s way of answering my prayers. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I told her to kiss my ass.

 

Thank you for that opportunity.

 

Sincerely,

 

Agnes

 

There Is Dancing In Hockey?

Adrian Alverstein likes winning.  Victory dance performed after a league game in Norway.  Question:  Will this catch on in North America?  Two minutes for excessive celebration?

Waldorf Is A Jets Fan

Statler & Waldorf
Statler & Waldorf (Photo credit: AndyRM101)

 

Waldorf of The Muppets is obviously a Winnipeg Jets fan, showing up at their recent home game against the San Jose Sharks.  No word on where Statler was, but I assume he was there, likely getting beers for them.

 

 

Related articles

 

 

Hockey Night In Chicago

The United Center in Chicago, Illinois, home o...
The United Center in Chicago, Illinois (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I was watching (as Canadians do) an NHL game from Chicago between the Blackhawks and the Winnipeg Jets.  During the game, something happened that I had never seen before.  No, not the hit, or the glass popping out or the beer being thrown at the opposition player.  Believe it or not, a fairly inebriated fan reached in and ripped the helmet off Adam Pardy‘s head (I’ve also seen fans grab equipment before) and, this is the crazy part, put the helmet on.  As the announcer says, if you’re going to steal something, don’t wear it.  A classic NHL moment that will play on sport shows for years.

A Lovely Saturday Afternoon

20131026-151448.jpg

Here I sit watching Lori try on dresses. This is the single worse thing about Christmas, the dreaded Christmas party (or holiday party for those who like calling things other than what they are). So, how are you spending your Saturday??

Helpful Signs – An Educational Series

I wonder why this sign doesn’t mention pulling the fire alarm.  Most disturbing.  Still, I guess yelling is a pretty good option.  A helpful tip, use your diaphragm.

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