Tag: Humour

Tag – We’re It

English: HALLOWEEN PENNYWISE COSTUME Español: ...

Sorry if I frightened you.

Lily In Canada tagged me, in what appears to be a rising crescendo of tagginess among the people I  both follow or follow me.  In this case, I will refrain from tagging anyone else as it would be redundant at this point.  There are rules (aren’t there always) and in the interest of saturday morning laziness, they are copy and pasted here.

 

Rules

1. You must post the rules.

2. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post and the create 11 new questions to ask the people you’ve tagged.

3. Tag 11 people and link them on your post.

4. Let them know you’ve tagged them!

 

So, how are we doing so far.  Number 1, check.  Number 2, half check.  Number 3, check.  Number 4, check.  So I only need to do the fun part, answer the questions.

1. If you could live in a different country for a year, where would you live?

Panorama of Amalfi
Amalfi

Easy, Italy.  Likely the most beautiful place I have ever been.  The food, unbelievable, the wine hmmmm.

2. What would you do if you were the opposite sex?

Get a sex change.

3. If there was a fire in your house and you could only save 3 things, what would they be? (Family and pets would be safe!)

Teemu Selanne of the Anaheim Ducks during a pr...

My laptop, my passport and my autographed Teemu Selanne rookie card.

4. What is your favorite sport and why?

Hockey, because I played for 30 years and don’t want to think I was doing something that I didn’t love.

5. What is a TV show that you hate to miss?

Fringe (TV series)

Fringe

6. If you could be fluent in another language, which would you choose?

French, because Canada is a bilingual country and I’m not.

7. Which actor or actress makes you mad?

Photo taken by Bobby131313.

Sean Penn, because I think he is about 3 cents shy of a dime.

8. What is your favorite vacation spot?

Anywhere, provided I haven’t been there before.

9. What is the first thing you would do if you were president, prime minister, etc?

Quit

10. Favorite thing to drink?

Malbec wine from Argentina

A nice Malbec, chilled to about 60 Fahrenheit.

11. Do you prefer baths or showers? Why?

Showers, because I don’t want to sit where people put their butts, and always get the feeling that I’m a soup ingredient.

Friday Funnies – Email of the Week – Feb 24

A gem that was floating around work this week.  Not for the squeamish, kind of makes you go ooohhh!!!

Friday Funnies – Trailer Park Boys

The Trailer Park Boys from the Canadian mockum...
Image via Wikipedia

The Trailer Park Boys is an interesting cable show.  The characters lurch back and forth from charming to, well, disgusting.  Lots of innuendo, drugs, booze, law breaking and swearing, but, it is funny, and Canadian.  The action takes place in a trailer park (naturally) in Halifax, Nova Scotia.

In this post we will take a quick look at Ricky and things he says, otherwise known as Rickyisms.

Friday Funnies – Email of the Week

From my friend Barry

 Quotes from David Feherty…

Feherty is a Golf Channel announcer who finds very unique, colorful
And uninhibited ways of explaining or describing whatever is on his
Mind…… Probably always on time delay these days.

Feherty Quotes:

“Fortunately, he (Rory) is 22 years old so his right wrist should be
The strongest muscle in his body.”

“That ball is so far left, Lassie couldn’t find it if it was wrapped in bacon.”

“I am sorry Nick Faldo couldn’t be here this week. He is attending the
Birth of his next wife.”

“They don’t do comedy at the Masters. The Masters, for me, is like
Holding onto a really big collection of gas for a week. It’s like
Having my buttocks surgically clenched at Augusta General Hospital on
Wednesday, and surgically unclenched on Monday on the way to Hilton
Head.”

Jim Furyk’s swing – “It looks like an octopus falling out of a tree.”

“He’s (Luke Donald) a bloody walking ATM. I slid my AmEx between the
Cheeks of his ass and out popped $500.”

Describing VJ’s prodigious practice regime – “VJ hits more balls than
Elton John’s chin.”

“That’s a great shot with that swing.”

“It’s OK – the bunker stopped it.”

At Augusta 2011 – “It’s just a glorious day. The only way to ruin a
Day like this would be to play golf on it.”

“That was a great shot – if they’d put the pin there today.”

“Everything moves except his bowels.”

“Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a
Balloon near the edge of a cliff.”

“That green appears smaller than a Pygmies nipple”.

Friday Funnies – Corner Gas

Corner Gas

A classic Canadian comedy, Corner Gas is set in small town Saskatchewan.  Having lived there, I can see a lot of truth in what happens in each episode.  You can’t stop me from spreading my pink eye revenge.

Stay Classy YouTube

This one deserves a look-see.  The life of a bachelor at 50?  His motto “always live your life on the edge”.

Friday Funnies – Red Green

McKenna as Harold Green (left) on The Red Gree...

Magsx2 posted a video from a Canadian comedy show last week, which, unfortunately, stole my thunder for my Friday series as he, along with SCTV, Kids In The Hall and a few others were to be part of my Friday repertoire.  Oh well, nice to see that Red is appreciated in other places than Canada.  I now take you to Possum Lodge for an installment by Red Green on how to repair a headlight.

Friday Funnies – Kids In The Hall

I loved the Chicken Lady.

Friday Funnies – 30 Creative Bag Advertisements

Hit the link, these are hilarious. This is an example.

Shopping Bag

Thanks to the Bored Panda for gathering these up for us to enjoy.

30 Creative Bag Advertisements | Bored Panda.

Sunday E-Mail Funnies

A couple of funnies from my email this week.

The Arab and the Scotsman

An Arab Sheik was admitted to St Vincent Hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his blood in case the need arose. As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn’t be found locally, so, the call went out to all the states.
Finally a Scot was located who had the same blood type. The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman as appreciation for giving his blood, a new BMW, diamonds & US dollars.

A couple of days later, once again, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy to donate his blood again.

After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card & a jar of candies.

The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab this time did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated. He phoned the Arab & asked him: “I thought you would be generous again, that you would give me a BMW, diamonds & money… But you only gave me a thank-you card & a jar of candies”.

To this the Arab replied: “Aye, but I now have Scottish blood in my veins

 

And the second contains an excellent strategy for men.