In a global society that the Earth is becoming, I feel it is time to explain what Canadians are. This will be especially helpful to, well, everyone, because we are kind of invisible. Once you have seen this series of videos, you will be experts on a lot of things Canadian.
Our first foray will be some factoids on our love of beer.
Canadians Like Beer
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That would be the stereotype, we are beer swillers extraordinaire. Now, take a peak at this chart:
As you can see, we are 14th in the world and dropping in consumption. This, despite my best efforts. I was surprised at number 1, I mean China?? I was going to look for a per capita chart, but could not insert, so here is a link which shows that Canada is only 23rd in the world in this measure.
Beer consumption per capita by country. Measurements shown in litres. See List of countries by beer consumption per capita from the English Wikipedia for a detailed list. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
English: A red Hummer with a parking ticket at Duke University East Campus in Durham, North Carolina. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
‘THE PARKING TICKET’
The other day my wife and I went into town and went into a  shop.   We were only in there for about 5 minutes.  When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.    We went up to him and said, ‘Come on man, how about giving a  senior citizen a break?’
He ignored us  and continued writing the ticket.  I called him a Nazi turd.   He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn   tires.
So  my wife called him a shit-head. He finished the second ticket and put it  on the windshield with the first.  Then he started writing a third  ticket.  This went on for about 20 minutes.  The more we  abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, Â we didn’t care. Â We came to town by bus and the car had a Quebec sticker. Â We try to have a little fun each day now that we’re retired. Â It’s important at our age
Phoenix Wright issues an objection at the witness during a court case; the “Objection!” speech balloon has become an iconic element of the series (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral…
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
Normally do this on Friday, but, I had nothing. The a beauty hit my mail box and I just had to answer.  Here is the spam message, without the link of course.
This is a comment to the webmaster. I came to your “It’s A Birthday Day For The Hobbler Is It Possible To See It All” page via Google but it was hard to find as you were not on the first page of search results. I see you could have more traffic because there are not many comments on your site yet. I have found a website which offers to dramatically increase your rankings and traffic to your site:(link) I managed to get close to 1000 visitors/day using their services, you could also get lot more targeted visitors from search engines than you have now. Their free trial and brought significantly more traffic to my site. Hope this helps Take care.
My answer.
Dear Shauer794@gma…..
First allow me to compliment on your stylish use of emoticons. It makes me feel that you are indeed a true budding friend that sincerely worries about my Google ranking. I know it is tough to find me on Google and I can think of a few reasons. First, you would have to be specifically looking for my blog and second, why the heck would you be looking for Hobblers birthday day posts? What in God’s name were you googling. Just curious. At any rate, I feel that it is only fair that I warn you that I have passed on your e-mail to Hobbler. She is one tough lady and I am sure she is going to want to discuss (at length and for hours, if not days) the reasons why this post is not on the first page of Google search results.
I didn’t get a chance to post this last night, so I will start with an apology to the calendar watchers out there.
This piece of spam is priceless in its circuitousness. (I always wanted to use that word). It came from cialis price 100mg and reads
When I initially commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get several e-mails with the same comment related with “cialis price 100mg”. Is there any way you can remove people from that service? Appreciate it!
My answer to Mr Cialis
Thanks for the warning. I will be attacking this problem hard on. I believe there may be an issue in the erection of the comment stream. I am not quite up yet on the ins and outs of your position, but will take preventative measures to make sure that you do not have to come again so soon. In the meantime, please be careful on how you insert your x into the box. Some extra protection may be necessary.
![SPAM! [don't buy]](https://i0.wp.com/farm1.static.flickr.com/82/262091025_9825a64b68_m.jpg?resize=240%2C180 "SPAM! [don't buy]")
Take care.
