I know that some of you are a bit worried about your safety while privateering. Here is a 3rd video posted by my buddy Barnacle Bill.
Pirate Safety Tips
Tag: humor
I’d Have Left The Room Too!!!
A teacher’s story about
Stuttering
A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students.
“Human beings are the only animals that stutter,’ she says
A little girl raises her hand. ‘I had a kitty-cat who stuttered.’
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become,
asked the girl to describe the incident.
“Well,” she began, ‘I was in the back yard with my kitty
and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start
and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!’
‘That must’ve been scary,’ said the teacher.
‘It sure was,’ said the little girl.
‘My kitty raised her back, went “Ffffff!, Ffffff!, FfffffF,”
but before she could say ‘Fuck-off !,’ the Rottweiler ate her!
The teacher had to leave the room.
A Clean Joke For A Change
Two Trees and A Woodpecker
It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but here
is one:
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree
begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, ‘Is that a son
of a beech or a son of a birch?’ The birch says he cannot tell, but just
then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.
The birch says, ‘Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is
a son of a beech or a son of a birch?’
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, ‘It is neither
a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash
I have ever poked my pecker into.
Pirate Safety Tips
The second in a series of tips for budding pirates. There will be an exam later.
Pirate Safety Tips
A buddy of mine has created a series of safety tips for all you pirates (and wannabe pirates) out there.
I Love Dogs
Apparently a 5 year old video, but new to me. Love it
US Election – The Aftermath
Yesterday I gave you an option if your guy loses on Tuesday, courtesy of Russell Peters. If renouncing your citizenship and becoming Canadian is too radical a move for you, then perhaps visiting and blending in is another possibility. Russell will again offer the instruction, this time on how speak with a Canadian accent.
Canada Explained – 1 Myth At A Time – Beer
In a global society that the Earth is becoming, I feel it is time to explain what Canadians are. This will be especially helpful to, well, everyone, because we are kind of invisible. Once you have seen this series of videos, you will be experts on a lot of things Canadian.
Our first foray will be some factoids on our love of beer.
Canadians Like Beer
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That would be the stereotype, we are beer swillers extraordinaire. Now, take a peak at this chart:
As you can see, we are 14th in the world and dropping in consumption. This, despite my best efforts. I was surprised at number 1, I mean China?? I was going to look for a per capita chart, but could not insert, so here is a link which shows that Canada is only 23rd in the world in this measure.
Myth 1, debunked.
Music Trivia Question for the Day
I left you all with some homework.  The question was very subjective and the answers showed it. Having said that, I did not see any that were anywhere near as disgusting as the one I have put up. It blows away the competition, making all the other contenders smell badly. Feast your eyes on Mr. Methane.
–
The question for today is:
Q: What was Motown’s first hit?
The Parking Ticket
‘THE PARKING TICKET’
The other day my wife and I went into town and went into a  shop.   We were only in there for about 5 minutes.  When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.    We went up to him and said, ‘Come on man, how about giving a  senior citizen a break?’
He ignored us  and continued writing the ticket.  I called him a Nazi turd.   He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn   tires.
So  my wife called him a shit-head. He finished the second ticket and put it  on the windshield with the first.  Then he started writing a third  ticket.  This went on for about 20 minutes.  The more we  abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, Â we didn’t care. Â We came to town by bus and the car had a Quebec sticker. Â We try to have a little fun each day now that we’re retired. Â It’s important at our age